What’s black and white and red all over?
A skunk on a trampoline.
That joke (from a book we read together) started my daughter on her new currentĀ obsessionĀ for jokes. She thinks they are hilarious, even when she doesn’t understand them – at all. Feeding my daughter new and funny jokes that she can actually get has become my new job.
Our standard conversation goes something like this:
“Mommy, tell me a joke.”
“Ummmmm,” raking my brain for the last joke I stocked away in my brain for this moment. What did the diamonds name their baby?Ā –Ā Jules.
“Ah ha.” (Her standard, canned “laugh” that she uses for all jokes.)
Then she proceeds to take my joke and twist it into something like this:
“What did the shoes name their baby?Ā –Ā Doodle-y-wack”
And that joke is also followed by her canned. “Ah ha.” And then, “Is that funny mommy?”
No K, that doesn’t make sense either…
And a few hours later… rinse and repeat.
Luckily a steady supply of Popsicles this summer has produced an almost daily supply of fresh material. How kind of Popsicle to include jokes on it’s sticks!
What? You haven’t noticed that Popsicle includes jokes on it’s sticks? Well it does, and what’s more they are funny too. Now before you buy a box of Popsicles and report back to me that there were no jokes on your sticks, let me say that jokes are on most Popsicles. We have had a large variety of Popsicles in the house this summer and I am afraid I haven’t paid attention to which Popsicles hadĀ jokes and which did not. But most do. I can assure you that Yosicles do have jokes andĀ Fudgesicles (my current obsession) do not.
Here are a few jokes we have discovered on our Popsicle sticks:
What was a trick that the load of bread taught the dog? – Roll over
What kind of bird writes letters? – A pen-quin
What kind of tree would have the best bark? –Ā Dogwood
How can you defend yourself under water? – Carry a sword fish
What do you do when your fish sings flat? – Tune-a-fish
Jokes on the sticks are just another reason to love Popsicles this summer. For kids who are reading, the joke isĀ cleverlyĀ on the handle while the pun is hidden beneath the Popsicle. After you have committed the joke to memory, turn that joke into a craft project to keep the fun going.
If you have Popsicle-lovin’, joke-tellin’ kids in your house, here’s a coupon for $.50 off a box of Yosicles!
GIVEAWAY – One lucky reader will win a $50 AMEX gift card and a six-month supply of Popsicles! (In the form of free product coupons.)
To enterĀ ā Please use the Rafflecopter form below to take advantage of your entry opportunities.
MANDATORY ENTRY MUST BE LEFT AS COMMENT ON BLOG POST BELOWā then you can check off in Rafflecopter that you did it. Otherwise, all other entries will be invalid. (Click instructions for what to comment about.)
*** PLEASE be sure to read instructions in Rafflecopter form as to what to comment about.***
Disclosure ā As a Yo! Mom blog ambassador, I have received product on behalf ofĀ Popsicle. All opinions are my 100% mine.
Q: What kind of bear has no teeth?
A: A gummy bear!
What cereal does a cat eat??? Mice Krispies!
My grandson likes Cow jokes so here is his favorite one
Q: Which job is a cow most suited for?
A: Baker. Because they’re making cow pies regularly.
Why was the shoe late for class?
Because HE WAS TIED UP!
Why was the broom late?
It over SWEPT!
There are 2 cats, an English cat and a French cat, in a contest to swim the English Channel. The English cat is called the one two three cat, and the French cat is called the un deux trois cat. who won?
A: The English cat. The un deux trois cat sank.
How come seagulls dont fly over the bay?
Then they would be bagels
Q: Why did Tigger look in the toilet??
A: He was looking for Pooh!
We have some Winnie the Pooh fans in the house…LOL
How do you make a Kleenex dance?
Put a little boogie in it š
What’s black and white and red(read) all over? A newspaper!
Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?
She had mittens!
What did the elephant get when he sat on a marshmallow?
A Mushy Tushy.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7, 8, 9!
What did the duck do after he heard a joke?
He quacked up!
What is invisible and smells like worms? Bird farts
What did the big chimminey say to the little chimminey. Your 2 young to smoke.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Ken L.
Ken L. who?
Ken L.s are dog hotels
-“The Super Duper Joke Book” by Michael Pellowski.
What kind of dance do you do on a trampoline? Hip Hop!
What is a math teacher’s favourite dessert? Pi! LOL
What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Notcho cheese.
Q. What did the gum say to the shoe?
A. Iām stuck on you.
janetfaye (at) gmail (dot) com
Q: What is the dogs favorite city?
A: New Yorkie!
What illness did everyone on the Enterprise catch?
Chicken Spocks
Why did the king go to the dentist?
To get his teeth crowned!
Q: Ask me if I’m a firetruck
A: Are you a Firetruck
Q: No
[I know this sounds ridiculous, but when I was about 10 my friend and I told each other this joke constantly and always laughed hysterically]
Which comic book hero lives in a pot?
A: Soup-erman!
from my oldest daughter:
how does lady gaga like her meat?
raw raw raw raw raw
my youngest daughter loves this one:
why did the car not run over the baby crows?
because the momma said caa caa caa
from my son:
how do you wake up lady gaga?
you poke poke poke poke-her face
from my little sister:
2 dimes & a nickel walk into a store. they see a quarter & the quarter tells them “you complete me”
my classic favorite.
Knock, knock…who’s there? banana
banana, who?
Knock, knock…who’s there? banana
banana who?
Knock, knock…who’s there? orange
orange who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana? š
Q: Did you hear they found a cure for Swine Flu?
A: It’s called Oinkment!
*Thanks* for the giveaway!
Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn? She had mittens!
Why don’t chickens play baseball? Because they keep hitting fowl balls
Q. What is the best way to speak to a monster ?
A. From a long way away !
How do trees use the computer
They log on
why is 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9
how do you make a tissue dance? put a boogie in it!
what color are burps? burple
What did the green grape say to the purple grape? “BREATHE!!”
Why did the chicken cross the street?
To get to the other side!
What did the snail say while riding on the back of the turtle?
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
knock knock, who’s there? Daisy. Daisy who? Da-C-Me-Rollin
Q: Whatās bigger than an elephant, but doesnāt weigh anything?
A: His shadow.
family74014 at gmail dot com
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Armageddon!
Armageddon who?
Armageddon out of here!
Knock Knoc, who’s there? Ach. Ach who? Bless you!
What royalty lives in the ocean? The “Prints” of Whales
Q) What do you call a shoe made from a banana?
A) A slipper.
i dont know any jokes but i do peek a boo with my daughter lol
knock knock, who’s there, where, there
Hey, is your refrigerator running?
Yes.
Well, you better go catch it!
Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A. “Is that you mommy?”
Here’s my kid friendly joke:
Why was the scarecrow awarded a nobel prize?
Because he was out standing in his field.
knock knock.
who’s there?
interrupting cow.
interrupting cow w-
mooooooooooo!
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 “ate” 9.
What do you call cheese thatās not yours?
Nacho cheese!
Why did the cookie go to the doctor…
He felt crummy.
Thanks so much.
How do you get an Alien baby to sleep?
You Rock-et!
What do you call spending the day with a grumpy rabbit?
A bad hare day.
What do you call a sneezing train?
Achoo-choo Train!
Why did they make only one Yogi Bear?
Because when they tried to make a second one they made a Boo-Boo.
What kind of cake do mice like?
Cheese cake
How do you make milk shake ?
Give it a good scare !
Sorry, that one is really bad. š
how did the farmer fix his jeans?
with a cabbage patch!
really corny i know š
why did the hate to stand out in the sun?
because he was afraid that he would be friieddd lol lol
If pigs where wigs what do piglets wear?? Wiglets … hardy har!
How do you tell when a clock is hungry?
It goes back for seconds.
What did the lawyer wear to work?
A lawsuit!
Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
If grapes are purple,what color is a burp?
Burple
I don;t get it either, but the kids seem to think it’s funny š
What did the cow say when he croosed the road?
MOOO OVER!
Here’s a kid-friendly dirty joke:
The pig fell in the mud!
My grandma used to tell me that one all the time š
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide š
That’s one my son always tells.
What’s green and has wheels?
Grass…I lied about the wheels
Awesome š
when does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
In the dictionary
Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Pasta.
Pasta,who?
It’s pasta your bedtime.
Knock knock. Who’s there?
Amos. Amos who?
A mosquito just bit me.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7-8-9!
Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?
Because he wanted chocolate milk!
What’s black and white, black and white, black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill
Some of my favorites:
How do you make a tissue dance?
– You put a little boogie in it!
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
– Time to get a new fence!
What do you call a sleeping cow? A bulldozer.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show the possum it CAN be done.
Why does the bunny have a shiny nose?
Because the powder puff is on the wrong end.
What is the most slippery country in the world?
Greece!
knock knock
whose there
cantalope
cantalope who?
cantalope without a girl
Here’s my joke:
Q: If you’re an American when you go into the bathroom and you’re an American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you while you’re in the bathroom?
A: European
I’m sorry, but I have a house full of boys and you know what boys find the funniest….
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Smell mop.
Smell mop who?
Two goldfish are in a tank. One looks to the other and says “Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?”
What time do you go to the dentist?
TOOTH-thirty!
I want to thank you for this awesome sweep and hope to win š Thanks !!!!!
Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn? She had mittens!
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? NACHO cheese!! lol
What is a Frogs favorite drink?
“Croak a Cola”
Thanks for the chance.
mogrill12@gmail.com
Knock Knock
Who’s There
Interrupting Cow
Interrup…
MOO!
What did one ocean say to the other?
Nothing they just waved!!haha
Q: What do you call cheese thatās not yours?
A: Nacho cheese!
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
– A pork chop!
Knock, knock
Whoās there?
Kiwi
Kiwi who?
Kiwi go to the store?
Knock, knock
Whoās there?
Cow-go
Cow-go who?
No, Cow go MOO!
Q: What do dinosaurs use on the floors of their kitchens?
A: Rep-tiles
Who’s there?
Peas.
Peas who?
Peas open the door and let me in.
What did Baby Corn say to Mommy Corn?
Where’s Pop Corn?
Why was the broom late?
It over swept!
What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?
Why did the rooster cross the orad? to get to the other side!
what kind of bee stings a ghost?
a boo bee (LOL)
Q: What did the bee say to the flower?
A: Hello honey!
shebebes@yahoo.com
What do you call a dog that is always getting into fights ?
A boxer
If you were a booger…
I’d pick you.
always always makes me laugh. lol*
sorry…. i am the absolute worst at telling jokes… i have nothing to offer š
Funny knock knock joke:
Knock, knock
Whoās there?
Cow-go
Cow-go who?
No, Cow go MOO!
Thank you.
Why was Tigger looking in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Allbi.
Allbi who?
Allbi back tomorrow. See you soon!
How did the girl get kicked out of girl scouts? She ate to many Brownies!
Q: Knock, knock-Who’s there?-Nobel-Nobel who?
A: No bell, that’s why I knocked!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
Lame, I know but I can’t remember jokes!
Who wouldn’t let the gorilla into the ballet?
The people who were in charge of making such decisions
This was from my Son when he was 9 years old, (a long time ago!)
What did the Boy Bee say to the Girl Bee?
Would you go on a Honeymoon with me?
Let’s hear it…. Aaawwwwwww āŗ
Q: What do you call cheese thatās not yours?
A: Nacho cheese!
Another one from my son when he was 9 yrs. old.
What did the Turtle say when he fell over?
Help! I’ve fallen and can’t get up!
Boooooo, I know!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Lame i know!
What does a Triceratops sit on?
It’s Tricera-bottom!
How did the farmer fix his jeans ?
With a cabbage patch !
Where does the frog keep his money?
In the river bank.
Knock knock
whose there?
banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
whose there?
banana
Banana who?
Knock knock?
Whose there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana again?
Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? A. He wanted cold hard cash
Thank you for hosting this giveaway
Louis
pumuckler {at} gmail {dot} com
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?…He didn’t have the guts!
Inspired by Obamacare: Why did the doctor carry a persian and a siamese kitten into the Medicaid patients’ exam room?
Answer: They needed cat scans.
What’s green and red and goes a hundred miles an hour? A frog in a blender.
Why did Tigger look inside the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh!
What do you call a sleeping cow? A bulldozer.
What did the baby corn say to his Momma corn?
Where’s Pop corn?
What’s Red and tastes like Blue paint?
Red paint.
What’s red and white and green all over? Snot
What did the teddy bear say when he finished dinner?
I’m stuffed.
knock knock
who’s there
he
he who
hee hee , got you again
Why did the football player go to the bank?
To get his quarter back
I don’t know any jokes
What is Beethoven’s Favorite Fruit?
Ba-na-na-na
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Interrupting Cow
Interrupting C….
MOO!
My daughter just told me this one,
Why did the robber wash his clothes before he robbed the bank?
He wanted to make a clean getaway.
thank you!
What do Alexander The Great and Winnie The Pooh have in common?
They both have “The” as their middle names!
Here is a scientific joke:
A mushroom walks into a party.
Everyone is ignoring him.
Suddenly, he yells out loud, “Hey, what’s with the lack of love, I’m a fungi.”
knock knock. whos there. doctor. doctor who? š
Knock Knock
Who’s There
Gorilla
Gorilla Who?
Gorilla me some hamburgers – I’m hungry
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little BOOGIE in it!!!
dance like a buffoon
I don’t really know jokes, so I had to look one up.
Q: What did one toilet say to the other?
A: You look a bit flushed.
Where do hamsters come from?
Hampsterdam!
What kind of dog loves to have a bath?
A shampoodle!
Why did the elephant not want to use the computer? Because he is afraid of the mouse.
why didnt the skeleton cross the road
because he didnt nave the guts
Why were the police suspicious of the curtains?
They were shady!
How can you keep from getting a sharp pain in the eye when drinking chocolate milk? …take the spoon out of the glass! And the oldest joke EVER – What is the biggest ant? An elephANT!
why did mommy serve her kiddos beans for dinner?
because she wanted them to go go go
What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a flea ?
Bugs Bunny !
knock knock
who’s there?
Banana
Banana who?
..knock knock
who’s there?
banana
banana who?
..knock knock who’s there?
orange
orange who?
orange you glad I didnt say banana again?
Knock knock
who’s there?
luke
luke who?
luke through the keyhole and you’ll see!
What happens when a cat eats a lemon?
It becomes a sour puss!
Not an original but funny!
Q: Knock, knock—-Who’s There?—-Ashe—-Ashe who?
A: Bless you!
Why did the chicken cross the cow pasture?
To get to the udder side!
Why did the bacon laugh?
Because the egg cracked a yolk! Haha
Why did Tigger look in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh.
why did the chicken cross the road, to get to the other side.
Where does a penguin keep their money? In a snow bank!
itsjustme62613 at gmail.com
What’s brown and sticky? A stick!
What do you call cheese thatās not yours?
Nacho cheese!
Knock knock
Who’s there
ach
ahc who
Bless you!
What do Elves do after school?
Gnomework!
What do you do when it’s raining cats and dogs?
Be careful not to step in any poodles. š
Katharina angelsandmusic[at]gmail[dot]com
What did the alien say to the book?
Take me to your reader!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Late reaction cow.
Late reaction cow who?
(wait as long as you can) MOO!
What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep?
A dinosnore!
what did obi-wan say to anakin at lunch?
use the forks!
Where do snowmen keep their money?
In snow banks!
What is the fruitiest lesson?
History, because it’s full of dates!
How do you get a kleenex to dance? Put a boogie in it.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Boo!
Boo who?
Stop crying!
How do you keep a rhino from Charging?
Take away its Credit Card!
medictom@gmail.com
What cereal does a cat eat?
Mice Krispies!
My daughter’s favorite joke: Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says, “does this taste funny to you?”
asketcher2 at hotmail.com
Why do golfers wear two pair of pants… In case he gets a hole in one.
What did the trash can say to the piece of gum?
Stick with me kid, we’re going places.
What do you call a fairy that hasn’t taken a bath?
Stinkerbell
what do you call a nag at the beach?
a sandwitch
Why did the boy swim on his back?
So the fish couldn’t bite his worm.
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach
Because they might peel
Why was tigger looking in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh!!
lololol
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
You’re too little to smoke.
What cereal does a cat eat?
Mice Krispies!
cweller75@gmail.com
What did the lightbulb say to the switch?
You turn me on.
Why are people that live on river so rich?
Because they have a bank on both sides
Q: Where do bees go on holiday?
A: Stingapore!
Olga turned to the John: “Sniff. Sniff. Wow, you smell good today, what do you have on?” John: “Clean socks.”
Why did the bacon laugh?
Because the egg cracked a yolk!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s There?
Boo!
Boo Who?!
You don’t have to cry about it!
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7-8-9!
Which flower talks the most?
Tulips, of course, ’cause they have two lips!
:p
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
jennycoupon88 at gmail dot com
What animal escaped from the zoo? A monKEY
What did the water say to the boat?
Nothing, it just waved.
My 9 year olds new favorite joke is: Why didn’t the rooster cross the road? He was a chicken.
How do you make a Kleenex dance? You put a little boogie in it! That gets my boys every time!
From the popsicle I had after dinner.
What did the momma bear say to her cubs?
Don’t go out in your bear feet.
ha ha ha ha
Why are teddy bears never hungry?
Because they are stuffed!
*cymbal crash*
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
He didn’t have the guts to do it!
Why was the broom late ?
It over swept !
my son told me that the other day!
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8 (ate), 9!
Why did the nudist cross the road?
he couldn’t “bare” it any longer!
What color is a burp? Burple!
What’sIrish and sits out all year?
Patio Furniture
What kind of explosions do dinosaurs like?
DINOmite!
why do cats meow?
because they aren’t dogs!
from my son when he around 4. lol
Why do Gorillas have BIG nostrils?
Because the have BIG fingers!
What color is a burp?
Burple
Q: April showers bring May flowers. What do May flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!
What’s invisible and smells like bananas?
A monkey fart
How does the cook introduce his wife? Meat Patty!!!
ptavernie at yahoo dot com
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer..Thats where he lived!
A pizza walks into a bar and the barman says sorry we don’t serve food in here.
WHAT IS A GHOST’S FAVORITE FRUIT…. A BOOBERRY!
What did the hamburger say to the hot dog while competing in the race?
You have to ketchup.
Knock, Knock, Who’s There?
Major!
Major Who?
Major opened the door didn’t I?
What did the water say to the boat?..Nothing it just waved.
How to you catch a squirrel?
Climb up a tree, and act like a ‘nut’!
What travels all over the world but stays in one corner??
A stamp.
I honestly don’t know any kid-friendly jokes, so I had to go looking around on the interwebs. Our kids probably have no clue what this is about, but I thought it was funny…
“Why does E.T. have such big eyes? Because he saw his phone bill.”
how many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
a fish.
How do you make a hotdog stand?
Take away his chair!
What is black and white and read all over?
A newspaper!
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
knock knock….who’s there….gas station…I don’t understand he is three and think it is funny
One of my girls got this one off a popsicle the other day: What kind of bird is always sad? A bluebird!
Q: What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened?
A: Close the door! Iām dressing!
My daughter’s fav š
Knock Knock?
Who’s There?
Lion!
Lion Who?
“Lyin’ on your doorstep, let me in!”
How did the farmer fix his jeans?
With a cabbage patch!
Why donāt aliens eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Old Lady
Old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel!
lyndsey.rullman at hotmail dot com
I am out of practice with kid jokes. Probably need to check with my 3 yr old grandson to see if this is still funny!
Where does an elephant sit?
Anywhere he wants.
What’s black and white and red all over?
newspaper
brich22 at earthlink dot net
What is the best hand to write with?
Neither – it’s best to write with a pen!
lisando@hotmail.com
What is full of T, and begins and ends with T? A teapot!
What kind of car does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive ?
A minnie van
A man leaves town on Tuesday, is gone for 9 days and returns on Tuesday, how is that possible?
A: The horse he’s riding is named Tuesday.
What kind of music are balloons afraid of?
“POP” music!!
what do you call a deer with no eyes? no-eye-dear
jagar0047 at yahoo dot com
Why did the boy take a bale of head to bed?
To feed his night-mare
Q:What did the apple tree say to the farmer?
A:Stop picking on me!
What is a cat’s favorite cereal? Mice Krispies š
Where do hamburgers go to dance? The Meat-ball
What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet
How did the farmer fix his jeans?
With a cabbage patch!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The worms were greener on the other side!
WHAT?!
spcale at yahoo dot com
My kids just told me this one the other day. “Why can’t the pirate learn the alphabet?” “He always get’s stuck at ‘C’
Q: What color is a happy cat?
A: Purrrple.
Q: why are fish so smart?
A: because they live in schools.
knock knock who’s there
peas
peas who
peas open the door
What type of fish goes with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!
Did you know that deers do not have uncles? They have Antlers hehehe
What did the girl mushroom say to the boy mushroom? You’re a fungi.
I want to win reallly baddd
Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
A: He felt funny!
Q: why did the bacon laugh?
A: because the egg cracked a yolk
Q.What did the kitten say to the Dalmatian puppy dog?
A. I can spot you a mile away!
What’s black and white and red all over? A panda with sunburn! (or a skunk, zebra, penguin with sunburn)
Q: What do you call a shoe made from a banana?
A: A slipper.
# 254 NAME CORRECTION:
Q: What do you call a shoe made from a banana?
A: A slipper.
What do you do if you find a blue elephant?
Try and cheer him up!
tweet
https://twitter.com/buzz8/status/233400889342304256
What did the pig say to the cow?
Mooooove over
How does an elephant go on vacation?
He packs his trunk.
Thanks for the contest.
What was the pirate movie rated?
– ARRrgh!
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Interrupting Cow
Interrupting cow…
(said as the previous person is still talking) Moo!
How did the lion say the clown tasted after eating him? Funny.
Why was Cinderella good at basketball?
Her pumpkin was a coach!
Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many knights!
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
Do you know why we don’t eat Clownfish???? Because they taste funny!