101 Popsicle Stick Jokes For Kids

One of my favorites from Popsicle’s Rules for Being a Kid guidebook is the jokes rule, “Jokes are meant to be shared.” Kids love to hear and tell jokes, and there’s nothing better than a good belly laugh from a kid who has just enjoyed a great joke. 

K is constantly coming home from school with a new joke she has learned. And even if she only remembers about half of the joke, it doesn’t stop her from cracking up. Of course, some kids jokes are really only funny to kids (mostly because they make them up as the go along), but that doesn’t stop them from telling jokes that make their friends giggle.

To help arm your kid with jokes to share, I rounded up 101 jokes from Popsicle sticks — yes, all of these jokes can be found on Popsicle sticks! 

101 Popsicle Stick Jokes

101 Popsicle Stick Jokes

What do you do when your fish sings flat?


What did the tailor say about her job?

It’s sew-sew

What did the zookeeper use to unlock the cage?

A monkey wrench

What did the rabbit five his girlfriend?

A 14-carrot ring

Why is England the wettest country?

The queen has reigned there for years

What’s everyone doing at the same time but different rates?

Growing older

How does the barber cut the moon’s hair?

E-clipse it

Why are math textbooks always stressed?

They deal with so many problems

How do you make a milkshake?

Take a cow to a horror movie

How did Jane mend the farmer’s pants?

With cabbage patches

Why wasn’t the computer hungry?

It just had a byte

How do animals blend into the desert?

With Camel-flage

Why did Janeen eat her test?

Her teacher said it was a piece of cake

How do you fix a broken gorilla?

With a monkey wrench

Why couldn’t the strings ever win?

They could only tie

What can you catch, but not throw?

Your breath

Why did whiskers lie down?

To take a catnap

Why did the kettle get so hot?

It needed to blow off steam

What does a tree do when it’s ready to go home?

It leaves

What did Sheila say after cheering at the Kentucky Derby?

My voice is hoarse

Why couldn’t the elephant use the computer?

He was afraid of the mouse

Where did Sally take her pet bees for fun?

The wax museum

Where do snowmen dance?

At the snowball

What can you steal, and not get in trouble?

2nd base

Why did Sally put her bicycle to bed early?

It was two-tired

Why was the baby comforter so sad?

It was a little down

Why didn’t the cashier laugh at the Emily’s Joke?

It didn’t make cents

How do you make a milkshake?

Take a cow to a horror show

What did the beach say as the tide came in?

Long time no sea

Why did Susan bring two pairs of pants to her golf game?

In case she got a hole-in-one

What did the diamonds name their baby?


Why was the lamp flunking his class?

He wasn’t very bright

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

It felt crumby

Why couldn’t the dog get the apple?

He was barking up the wrong tree

Why do bananas like gymnastics?

They like to do splits

What did the whale do when he got mad?

He blew his top

What happened when the wheel was invented?

It caused total revolution

What did the tailor say about her job?

It’s sew-sew

What did Mr. and Mrs. Hamburger name their daughter?


How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them

What did zero say to eight?

Nice belt

How do pigs talk?

Swine language

What’s the best side of the house to put the porch on?

The outside

What’s a cow’s favorite activity?

Going to the moovies

Why didn’t the rooster go on the rollercoaster?

He was chicken

How do animals blend into the desert?

With camel-flage

What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk

Why does a quarter flip higher than other coins?

It has an eagle on it

What are the smartest animals?

Fish because they stay in schools

What kind of band plays snappy music?

A rubber band

Why did the clam scold her children?

They were being shellfish

What does a boat do when it’s sick?

It goes to the dock

What did the hot dogs name their kid?


Why are math textbooks so stressed?

They deal with many problems

What was the boulder’s favorite music?

Hard rock

Why did the fish have a bad report card?

Because all of his graders were under “C”s

What kind of horse likes to be ridden at night?

A nightmare

Why do owls always get invited to bird parties?

Because they are such a hoot

What kind of bird is always sad?

A blue bird

What was the musician’s favorite pastry?

A drumroll

Why didn’t the sun ever shine in the castle?

It was full of knights

What did the golf player name his son?


What did the fish name his kid?


Where do dogs hate to shop?

At the flea market

What kind of music sticks with you?

Taped music

Where do spaghetti and sauce go to dance?

The meat ball

Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?

To fish for compliments

Where did the elephant store its suitcase?

In its trunk

What did the hotdog say after he finished the race?

I’m the wiener

What crew mans a haunted ship?

A skeleton crew

What do pigs and ink have in common?

They both go in a pen

How did Melanie improve her hearing?

She ate an ear of corn

What’s a kite’s favorite instrument?

The strings

What do you call a sleeping cow?

A bulldozer

What was a trick that the load of bread taught the dog?

Roll over

What kind of bird writes letters?

A pen-quin

What kind of tree would have the best bark?


How can you defend yourself under water?

Carry a swordfish

What did “A” and “B” look for at the beach?

A “C” gull

Where does a dog sleep?

In a pup tent

What driver never gets a parking ticket?

A screwdriver

What did the buck call his wife?


What lies on its back a thousand feet in the air?

A millipede

Why is England the wettest country?

The Queen has reigned for years

What animal has the best sense of time?

A watchdog

What did the mother bear say to her cub?

Don’t go out in your bear feet

Why was the doctor so calm?

He had patients (patience)

What kind of shoe does a thief wear?


How do you make a handkerchief dance?

Put a little boogie in it

What has hands but no arms?

A clock

What kind of bugs do firemen really dislike?


Why didn’t the hockey player want to pay for dinner?

He was a cheapskate

Where do you look for kittens in a library

In the card cat-a-log

What kind of phones do turtles use?

Shell-ular phones

Why shouldn’t you play hide-n-seek with a leopard?

You’ll always be spotted.

Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot

What has a hundred ears but cannot hear?

A field of corn

What kind of shirts do golfers wear?


How did the lettuce plan to win the race?

Stay a head

Why do basketball players wear bibs?

Because they dribble

What’s a cat’s favorite button on the DVD?


Download Popsicle’s Rules for Being a Kid guidebook for more ideas to inspire your kids’ playtime including free printables. 

Popsicle Mom Ambassador
This post was created in conjunction with my appointment as an Ambassador in the Popsicle® Blogger Program. Visit www.Facebook.com/popsicle to join the conversation.

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