One of my favorites from Popsicle’s Rules for Being a Kid guidebook is the jokes rule, “Jokes are meant to be shared.” Kids love to hear and tell jokes, and there’s nothing better than a good belly laugh from a kid who has just enjoyed a great joke.
K is constantly coming home from school with a new joke she has learned. And even if she only remembers about half of the joke, it doesn’t stop her from cracking up. Of course, some kids jokes are really only funny to kids (mostly because they make them up as the go along), but that doesn’t stop them from telling jokes that make their friends giggle.
To help arm your kid with jokes to share, I rounded up 101 jokes from Popsicle sticks — yes, all of these jokes can be found on Popsicle sticks!
101 Popsicle Stick Jokes
What do you do when your fish sings flat?
Tune-a-fish
What did the tailor say about her job?
It’s sew-sew
What did the zookeeper use to unlock the cage?
A monkey wrench
What did the rabbit five his girlfriend?
A 14-carrot ring
Why is England the wettest country?
The queen has reigned there for years
What’s everyone doing at the same time but different rates?
Growing older
How does the barber cut the moon’s hair?
E-clipse it
Why are math textbooks always stressed?
They deal with so many problems
How do you make a milkshake?
Take a cow to a horror movie
How did Jane mend the farmer’s pants?
With cabbage patches
Why wasn’t the computer hungry?
It just had a byte
How do animals blend into the desert?
With Camel-flage
Why did Janeen eat her test?
Her teacher said it was a piece of cake
How do you fix a broken gorilla?
With a monkey wrench
Why couldn’t the strings ever win?
They could only tie
What can you catch, but not throw?
Your breath
Why did whiskers lie down?
To take a catnap
Why did the kettle get so hot?
It needed to blow off steam
What does a tree do when it’s ready to go home?
It leaves
What did Sheila say after cheering at the Kentucky Derby?
My voice is hoarse
Why couldn’t the elephant use the computer?
He was afraid of the mouse
Where did Sally take her pet bees for fun?
The wax museum
Where do snowmen dance?
At the snowball
What can you steal, and not get in trouble?
2nd base
Why did Sally put her bicycle to bed early?
It was two-tired
Why was the baby comforter so sad?
It was a little down
Why didn’t the cashier laugh at the Emily’s Joke?
It didn’t make cents
How do you make a milkshake?
Take a cow to a horror show
What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time no sea
Why did Susan bring two pairs of pants to her golf game?
In case she got a hole-in-one
What did the diamonds name their baby?
Jules
Why was the lamp flunking his class?
He wasn’t very bright
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
It felt crumby
Why couldn’t the dog get the apple?
He was barking up the wrong tree
Why do bananas like gymnastics?
They like to do splits
What did the whale do when he got mad?
He blew his top
What happened when the wheel was invented?
It caused total revolution
What did the tailor say about her job?
It’s sew-sew
What did Mr. and Mrs. Hamburger name their daughter?
Patty
How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them
What did zero say to eight?
Nice belt
How do pigs talk?
Swine language
What’s the best side of the house to put the porch on?
The outside
What’s a cow’s favorite activity?
Going to the moovies
Why didn’t the rooster go on the rollercoaster?
He was chicken
How do animals blend into the desert?
With camel-flage
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk
Why does a quarter flip higher than other coins?
It has an eagle on it
What are the smartest animals?
Fish because they stay in schools
What kind of band plays snappy music?
A rubber band
Why did the clam scold her children?
They were being shellfish
What does a boat do when it’s sick?
It goes to the dock
What did the hot dogs name their kid?
Frank
Why are math textbooks so stressed?
They deal with many problems
What was the boulder’s favorite music?
Hard rock
Why did the fish have a bad report card?
Because all of his graders were under “C”s
What kind of horse likes to be ridden at night?
A nightmare
Why do owls always get invited to bird parties?
Because they are such a hoot
What kind of bird is always sad?
A blue bird
What was the musician’s favorite pastry?
A drumroll
Why didn’t the sun ever shine in the castle?
It was full of knights
What did the golf player name his son?
Chip
What did the fish name his kid?
Gill
Where do dogs hate to shop?
At the flea market
What kind of music sticks with you?
Taped music
Where do spaghetti and sauce go to dance?
The meat ball
Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?
To fish for compliments
Where did the elephant store its suitcase?
In its trunk
What did the hotdog say after he finished the race?
I’m the wiener
What crew mans a haunted ship?
A skeleton crew
What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen
How did Melanie improve her hearing?
She ate an ear of corn
What’s a kite’s favorite instrument?
The strings
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bulldozer
What was a trick that the load of bread taught the dog?
Roll over
What kind of bird writes letters?
A pen-quin
What kind of tree would have the best bark?
Dogwood
How can you defend yourself under water?
Carry a swordfish
What did “A” and “B” look for at the beach?
A “C” gull
Where does a dog sleep?
In a pup tent
What driver never gets a parking ticket?
A screwdriver
What did the buck call his wife?
Deer
What lies on its back a thousand feet in the air?
A millipede
Why is England the wettest country?
The Queen has reigned for years
What animal has the best sense of time?
A watchdog
What did the mother bear say to her cub?
Don’t go out in your bear feet
Why was the doctor so calm?
He had patients (patience)
What kind of shoe does a thief wear?
Sneakers
How do you make a handkerchief dance?
Put a little boogie in it
What has hands but no arms?
A clock
What kind of bugs do firemen really dislike?
Fireflies
Why didn’t the hockey player want to pay for dinner?
He was a cheapskate
Where do you look for kittens in a library
In the card cat-a-log
What kind of phones do turtles use?
Shell-ular phones
Why shouldn’t you play hide-n-seek with a leopard?
You’ll always be spotted.
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot
What has a hundred ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn
What kind of shirts do golfers wear?
Tee-shirts
How did the lettuce plan to win the race?
Stay a head
Why do basketball players wear bibs?
Because they dribble
What’s a cat’s favorite button on the DVD?
Paws
Download Popsicle’s Rules for Being a Kid guidebook for more ideas to inspire your kids’ playtime including free printables.
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