With a new baby on the way, I am planning a virtual baby shower for August complete with tons of baby gear reviews and a massive giveaway. I already have some great companies lined up, and I am working on getting more. (If you have a baby or new mom product and would like to participate, contact me.)
Leading up to the virtual shower, I thought it would be fun to recruit some of my fellow bloggers to share their best parenting advice. So every week from now till August, I will feature A Mom Blogger’s Advice. I hope you enjoy the advice as much as I do (I am printing all of the advice for my baby book).
I’d love to hear from you too. If you have parenting advice you would like to share (whether you are a blogger or not), email me. I’ll feature any advice I get so everyone can enjoy.
Advice from Annie at MamaDweeb.com
Follow your gut and don’t compare!
It took me a long time to learn this rule. It is so basic and yet I struggled with it my entire life. Becoming a mom, my comparing myself to others got even worse. I started to get anxiety about my effectiveness as a mother.
I measured my success at mothering based on how my child compared to my friend’s children. And I did this when she was a baby!
I’d find myself thinking, “Heather’s 6-month-old baby sleeps from 7pm-7am. How come mine wakes up every 2 hours still? I suck as a mom. I’m damaging her for life!”
And then the inner struggle between my deep-rooted mom-gut and the apparent success of what others were doing (and what they thought of me) raged fiercely.
It was not until I started to close myself off from “others” in my mind and parented from my heart, my way, that I finally found peace. I began to allow my friends to parent their way and I parented mine. For me, co-sleeping gave me more rest and a deeper connection with my babies. For my friends, a crib gave them the same thing.
I also discovered a truth that made me feel so much better: Perfect kids don’t exist. Those happy, calm, centered mothers have “I’m gonna pull my hair out and ship my kids to grandma’s house for a month” days.
Do not compare. Your baby is not too skinny, too fat. It sleeps just fine and you are the perfect mother for your baby.
About the Author:
Annie stays at home with her 3 young children and blogs in Kansas on her blog MamaDweeb.com. She writes frequently about blogging, parenting and Kansas happenings. You can find her on twitter @MamaDweeb, she loves to chat about all things parenting and life!
Meredith says
June 6, 2011 at 7:35 amOoh…I’m looking forward to this! Thanks!
Jenn says
June 6, 2011 at 10:57 amThis looks like a lot of fun! And Annie is right, there are no “perfect” kids. Each has their own thing going on and you can’t really compare your child to others!
Joanna says
June 6, 2011 at 1:56 pmGreat advice! I definitely learned that with my first too LOL
Looking forward to your virtual baby shower!
Jenn says
June 6, 2011 at 2:06 pmThis is so true. New moms need this reassurance because we can be soooo insecure about our mothering skills. Looking forward to your shower!
Annie @ Mama Dweeb says
June 6, 2011 at 4:43 pmThanks Jenn! I cannot believe I really did compare my oldest to other babies. Now with my third, I really don’t do that one single bit!
Tricia says
June 7, 2011 at 12:06 amI’ve learned that a long time ago as a mom of 4 never compare child to child each child is there own person. As well as we don’t parent the same
Pam says
June 7, 2011 at 12:54 pmI love the final sentence – sums it up perfectly.
Heather says
June 7, 2011 at 1:12 pmthat was my biggest lesson learned too – to trust in my gut feelings as their mom. I learned it the hard way but I’ll never forget!
Emily C says
August 4, 2011 at 1:50 pmI tell all my new mom friends…”you are that child’s mother. Trust your gut. You know what is right for your baby and when your gut tells you to be concerned. Listen! Otherwise relax and enjoy your baby.”
Cori says
August 6, 2011 at 6:45 amThis is the hardest thing about my daughter and my neice only 2 weeks apart. They are always compared to each other, and I’m terrible about it!