My Mama Bear Claws Are Out

When you mess with baby, you mess with mama and someone’s been messing with my baby. Of course this someone appears to be a group of five year olds, so there isn’t much I can do, but my heart is so sad. I endured years of tormenting by my peers, so I know how mean girls can be, but can this really be starting in preschool?

Last night before bed K told us that she didn’t want to go to Stay and Play, which is the after school program she goes to once a week at her preschool. She goes to the program with her two best friends and looks forward to it every week since she started in late fall. So when she said she didn’t want to go, we were concerned.

This morning she woke up with conviction that she didn’t want to go. She said she wanted to take a longer nap before ballet. For my big napper, this was a somewhat understandable explanation. On Thursdays she only gets a short nap between Stay and Play and ballet, and last week she was particularly tired because of Disney the day before… But it still seemed off.

At lunch, my suspicions were confirmed when out of nowhere she said, “The big kids at Stay and Play call me a baby.”

Screeeeech. WHAT?!!!

After a bit more prodding, it does indeed seem that she didn’t want to go to Stay and Play because the older kids were picking on her and/or excluding her. “They say I am not their friend,” she told us.

Ouch. My heart hurts. She’s not even four years old and already someone has made her feel so bad that she didn’t want to do something she once looked forward to.

I will call the school, of course, but really what can they do? Really the only thing I can do is to try to help redirect her. She doesn’t understand why they were mean, and really neither do I.

12 thoughts on “My Mama Bear Claws Are Out”

  1. Oh that stinks! I am so sorry. My kid is almost 4 so when I see kids reject him at the playground and him sobbing, it completely infuriates me. Kids are so mean.

  2. I completely get where you are coming from. MY boys have already endured some of this from the neighborhood kids, they start kindergarten in the Fall and I really dread it. I have put my foot down on several occasions with other people’s children in the neighborhood, especially when no parents are around and they are openly being down right mean. Especially when they are the same kids who come over to my house, use our water slides, bounce house, swings, skateboards etc. I am not beyond saying something and I would mention it to the teachers there so they can just casually keep an eye on it. I put up with way too much crap growing up in the schools and it really did a number on my self esteem. If it’s a one time thing then blow it off but if its continued, it should be nipped in the butt. I don’t tolerate it from my own children and I certainly don’t allow them to be that way with other kids and when they do they are reprimanded for it. You want them to have thick skin, but it shouldn’t come at a cost of them not wanting to do the things they once enjoyed and now fear. I don’t want to keep my kids in a bubble either, but it is our responsibility as parents and educators to teach kids what is right and how to treat people around us.

  3. That is depressing.. Your little girl is adorable. My little one has been saying this for weeks now… And i’m beginning to think its the same for her. She would rather do ANYTHING than go to preschool anymore. And when i can get her to go, upon picking her up… all the kids run up to me and are like “she did this, she did that…” wow, seriously?

  4. This is so sad. My son befriended a girl in his preschool class last year who was being excluded by the other little girls in the class. That little girl’s mom called me and was so thankful. She said her daughter was at that point of not wanting to go to preschool anymore also. We are still friends even though our kids go to different schools now. She said kindergarten was almost as bad but her daughter had learned to avoid the mean kids and make friends with someone else. I makes my heart hurt that kids can be so mean to each other.

  5. I hate that K is going through that, but I also wouldn’t want my kid to be the one being mean… Parenting is so hard! Just give her lots of love, I guess teaching our kids to be strong and kind is all we can strive to do.

  6. I’m so sorry that your little K has to go through this. My daughter is 5 and in K and she has the same thing with the little girl next door….who also is in her class and of course rides the bus with her. So said what kids do these days.

  7. This makes me sad, this vicious cycle that never seems to end with kids. It seems to be starting at a much earlier age, I mean 3, I would be furious! Are we genetically made up to do this or is this stuff all learned, I mean product of your environment kind of deal? I mean when you watch show’s like Little House on the Prairie, bullying and mean kid’s existed then as well. Maybe it’s the age of some of these kids, IDK, but for me, I would encourage her to walk with her head high and smile, even at 3. Why must we teach our kid’s to be hard or reserved at such a young age, there so new to these raw feeling’s. I’m so sorry she’s hurting and that she’s be singled out. She’s beautiful, that’s probably why ONE girl doesn’t like her, that’s all it takes, one bad apple! I can see she will be a leader and not the follower, hopefully this thing blow’s over, but realistically, it won’t. Good Luck Mom!!!

    • I am proud to say that she happily went to Stay n Play the next week. She mentioned the “big kids” again (this time something about not sharing a puzzle). I think it comes down to she wants to play with the 5 year olds and they don’t want to play with the 3/4 year olds… But I know that the director (like a principal) talked to the kids, so hopefully they think about what they say. I know this is just the beginning, but it broke my heart.

  8. It’s painful to know our babies are experiencing pain at the hands of someone else. We do whatever we can to protect them. I totally feel for you.

  9. I wasn’t done typing, but my hand hit a button and my reply posted.

    Someone hurt my baby, and the day you wrote this is the day I’d had enough, though at that time I didn’t know the extent of what my 8 month old son had gone through. It was his day care.

    I’d like to share the Facebook page of the organization I’m starting to advocate for kids in regards to day care. Even if this doesn’t apply to you, please check it out and “Like” it if you find it something you can support.

    Hopefully your beautiful little girl will understand that just because there are mean people that may hurt her feelings, doesn’t not mean she has to be the same way, and that it is not a reflection of who she is, but a reflection of who they are.


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